Who’s Really Driving Your Life?

I’ve never loved carpools.

There’s something uncomfortable about giving up control of the wheel—especially when I’m not the one driving. What if I want to stop for coffee? Or do I need to leave early? What if the driver takes a route I wouldn’t choose?

Truthfully, I like being in control.

And if I’m honest, that mindset didn’t just affect how I traveled. It shaped how I approached parenting, relationships, stress, and even my faith.

Life as a single dad especially revealed just how tightly I tried to hold the steering wheel.

Parenting alone can feel a lot like driving through heavy traffic. There are distractions everywhere. Financial pressure. Emotional exhaustion. Conflict with an ex-spouse. Schedules. Unexpected emergencies. The endless responsibility of trying to hold everything together for your children.

And somewhere in the middle of all that chaos, many of us convince ourselves that we have to manage it all alone.

That was me.

For a long time, independence felt safer than dependence. I learned early in life to solve problems on my own, avoid vulnerability, and keep pushing forward no matter what. Asking for help—or surrendering control—felt weak.

But eventually, the weight of trying to control everything became exhausting.

And maybe that’s the problem with always needing to be the driver.

As parents, especially single parents, we often carry the pressure of fixing everything:

fixing our children’s emotions,
fixing financial struggles,
fixing broken relationships,
fixing our own fears and failures.

We want quick solutions because watching the people we love struggle is painful.

But not everything can be fixed through control.

Sometimes what we need most is surrender.

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that trusting God is not a one-time decision. It’s a daily choice to stop climbing back into the driver’s seat every time life feels uncertain.

I wish I could say I learned that lesson quickly.

I didn’t.

There were moments when stress, frustration, and fear got the best of me. Moments when I reacted poorly, lost my temper, or tried to force outcomes instead of seeking wisdom first.

I remember one Christmas season when I completely lost perspective.

My kids and I were driving home after a long day of shopping. Traffic was miserable. Money was tight. I was overwhelmed and emotionally drained. In the back seat, my daughter became upset because we hadn’t stopped to see Santa at the mall.

At first, I ignored the whining.

Then the whining became crying.

And eventually, in one terrible moment of frustration, I snapped and yelled, “That’s enough! Santa’s dead!”

The second the words left my mouth, I knew I’d hurt her.

The rest of the drive home was filled with tears—hers and almost mine too.

Later that night, I sat beside her, apologized sincerely, and asked her forgiveness. And honestly, that moment became one of the most important lessons of my parenting journey.

Not because I handled things perfectly.
But because I didn’t pretend I had.

Parents make mistakes.
Fathers lose patience.
Mothers say things they regret.
Single parents get overwhelmed.

But humility matters.

Apologizing to our children teaches them something powerful: love does not disappear when we fail.

That night reminded me that being a strong parent does not mean always being in control. Sometimes strength looks like admitting when you’re wrong, reconnecting after conflict, and letting grace repair what frustration damaged.

Over the years, I’ve realized there’s a delicate balance in parenting.

Some parents try to control everything.
Others avoid hard things altogether.

Both extremes can lead us into unhealthy places.

The answer isn’t controlling every outcome.
And it isn’t pretending problems don’t exist either.

The answer is learning to walk closely with God through the uncertainty.

Psalm 34 reminds us:
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

That verse matters deeply to single parents because so many of us carry quiet heartbreak while still trying to lead our families well.

If you’re exhausted from trying to hold everything together, maybe this is your reminder that you were never meant to carry it all alone.

God never asked us to parent from perfection.
He asks us to remain dependent on Him.

And perhaps the bravest thing we can do is finally slide over and let Him drive.

Because even when life feels chaotic, He knows the road ahead.