10 Things to Know About Tipping
Benjamin Franklin once said, “To overtip is to appear an ass, to undertip is to appear an even greater [one].” So what’s to be done?
Tipping has become one of the most widespread practices in America. Everyone knows how to express delight at excellent service, whether it’s an Uber driver, cruise ship personnel, or hotel concierge. But it can get complex. Before you go diving into your pockets for tips, there are 10 things you need to know before tipping. Understanding these simple facts will help you tip fairly and make the system work as it should.
THE “ITCHING PALM” TREND
I walked into the pizza place to pick up my pie and breadsticks. I call it a “place” because it was not a restaurant. It was a counter with one chair in case you needed to wait for your order to be boxed up. Pizza delivery boys came and went through the front door as I waited.
It was then I noticed the jar next to the cash register. It read “Tips for Our Drivers.” Like a confused puppy, my head tilted as I tried to understand what they were doing. Apparently, the business wanted me to help their drivers make more money when they should actually be getting tips upon arrival at each house.
I found this strange since tips are based on performance and I had no idea if these drivers were prompt, polite, and delivering hot pizzas, intact. What if they were slackers and didn’t deserve a tip? Or let’s assume they were doing a great job and all the customers were already tipping sufficiently–was I too, supposed to add to the jar here in the storefront? Nay!
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy tipping. But at one recent coffee shop, I got a dirty look from the cashier for ignoring the tip prompt on the screen. I wasn’t served anything. I wasn’t at a table. My drink was “To Go.”
I did all the work of getting out of my car, walking up to the counter, telling her what I wanted, paying for it, then standing and waiting at the end of the counter. For whom was that tip?
Tipping is getting out of hand and you won’t know you are being “taken” unless you educate yourself.
Someone, somewhere, decided it was a good idea to guilt customers into tipping and the idea spread quickly. It began with tip jars and has now moved into digital coercion. Every time I encounter the dreaded tablet or kiosk that asks for a tip, I immediately become aware of who is watching me as I tap on “No Tip.”
Many of my Christain friends tip everyone and they tip excessively, thinking it’s some kind of gospel message for the servers. This sounds harsh but filling the waiter’s wallet isn’t going to convert him–if he’s not born again he’s still going to hell and he can’t even take the cash with him.
Others have used the scripture from Romans 4:4, “Now to the one who works, wages are not credited as a gift but as an obligation.” However, this refers to wages, not tips/rewards. The gift of a tip is exactly that–a gift. It is not an obligation. The business owner is the one responsible for paying decent wages to the server. He and his employee have agreed to take a chance on seeing if excellent service can help pay the wages and most times it does. But it is not our job to make up for poor wages. Remember, the employee had a choice and knew about the low wages before he/she accepted the job. They are free to leave at any time, and seek a more lucrative job.
Little or no tips helps the waiter/waitress or other service-related employee know when they are not measuring up to standards. Sadly, those standards differ from customer to customer. I used to wait tables, I know how hard it is to please every person at each table. But I knew what I was getting myself into and worked all the harder.
While it’s true, waiters live off their tips, tipping lately has become more mandatory than voluntary. It rarely relates to the quality of the service, and can tragically be based more on ethnicity or gender. But here’s the thing, tipping is supposed to be based on a system of rewarding those for outstanding service.
When we tip out of obligation or pity, we, in essence, are tearing down the system and its purpose. What we do in rewarding everyone is that we encourage laziness and entitlement. Everyone gets rewarded, so no one tries to improve their service. We end up encouraging employees to provide terrible service instead of working in another field more suited for them.
THE HISTORY
The custom originated in Europe, and while its history is not entirely clear, it is commonly traced back to 17th century England. The word “tip” is an acronym for “To Insure Promptitude,” which was printed on tip bowls in British coffeehouses.
After the Civil War, tipping made its way to the USA, when wealthy Americans started traveling to and from Europe. They brought the custom back home to show off their worldliness, but it was disdainfully considered an affront to democracy.
I have lived overseas, in a country that doesn’t practice tipping. I saw the pros and cons. It was nice to not worry about a tip, but the food was more expensive. Why? Because employers had to pay higher wages, so that expense was absorbed by me. I didn’t like that the staff often disappeared for long periods of time. After all, nothing drove them to keep coming back and checking on me–they got the same pay regardless of service. We often experienced 2-3 different waiters, too. Our table wasn’t assigned to one particular waiter because the job wasn’t tip-based. The nice thing, however, was I could recruit help from any server. No need to ask around for our personal waiter if I needed a refill.
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
Service providers know more about tipping than you do. As a former waiter, I realized the following facts and operated perfectly fine within that understanding. These days, I tend to tip about 17% for normal service. Not because I feel manipulated, but because I appreciate being waited on and taken care of. I’ll tip 20% or more for excellent service.
You should report any staff that confronts you about a tip. This is unprofessional and smacks of entitlement. Tips are a gift and should be treated as such. So, here are 10 things you need to teach your kids (and maybe yourself) about tipping:
- Tips are optional. Customers are never required to give, even for good service.
- Understand the reason for tips = to encourage competition among co-workers. It has nothing to do with your generosity or Christianity.
- Know that weeding out bad service is all part of what makes America a democracy.
- Never give out of guilt or pity. Give to help teach service providers how to perform.
- If you haven’t been waited on above the norm, reconsider your tip amount.
- If you have done some of their job, reduce the tip accordingly. (EX: using a kiosk on the table to order more food or to pay your bill).
- Consider tipping more if service remained great in the midst of chaos, busy periods or large groups/parties.
- Depending on tips to survive is a choice. The employee has counted the cost and understands they will have good and bad days. It’s not your job to make up for those bad days.
- Not every service provider is paid poorly or needs tips. Educate yourself on typical wages for various jobs: hotel maids, shoeshine stands, curbside skycaps, cab drivers, etc.) Some you tip on percentage, others by services rendered.
- The cook or bartender may be at fault, but it’s ultimately the server who must take responsibility for what’s on your plate.
Tipping can be fun, especially if you are generous and have a big heart. It’s enjoyable for me to tip big. Blessing people for hard work is something we all should be doing. Stingy is not what we are called to be in this world. But we also need to be aware of businesses that try to take advantage of customers who don’t know better. It’s the customer’s job to make sure tipping under duress is discouraged. Being strong and not giving into the crowd mentality is the only way to help guilt-tipping fail. Let’s help each other and support only those who deserve rewards.
Can you imagine all restaurants adopting a no-tipping policy? How would this affect you? The businesses? The servers? America’s workforce?
