Should Teachers Withhold Vital Info from Parents?

By Britt Mooney and Tez Brooks 

“It takes a village to raise a child,” says the old African proverb. How much we believe in that differs depending on our trust level of the village.

The “village” includes relatives, church friends, schools, sports activities, the arts, and more. But parents are the primary authority in the life of a child. 

When it comes to public schools, we must be extra careful, especially when dealing with unbelievers who don’t understand our worldview. As important as teachers are as educators, school staff (Christian or not) should never take the place of the primary authority over the child. This is the parent’s role. 

In education, parents and school are a team, and in that relationship, we must remember the rights of parents are fundamental. Parents are legally, economically, and morally responsible for their children. Legally, minors can make some decisions without a parent’s consent, so I understand why teachers have to carefully balance this care between state laws and a parent’s desire to be kept in the loop. 

While there are no perfect parents or guardians, they should be the foremost educators in the life of students because (hopefully) no one knows or loves the child more completely than the mother, father, or other legal guardian. 

This fact requires teachers to notify parents about any vital information regarding the student’s decisions and well-being. Often, however, schools misinterpret bills as “laws.” Or they don’t research them sufficiently enough to understand what is and isn’t allowed.

In some cases, to protect themselves and others, teachers can commit overkill by encouraging co-workers to practice privacy on all issues rather than just what’s required by law. This happened recently when a California principal began telling his staff it’s against the law to tell parents if their child changes clothes and identifies as trans during school hours. The problem was, it wasn’t against the law at all! He misunderstood the law and communicated false information.

One California attorney unpacks it better here, explaining the law is about records, not emotional or health issues. He goes on to clarify that if a school staff member is concerned about a student based on their observations or interactions with that student, the employee may disclose that concern to parents or guardians without violating the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act. 

Permission from parents is required for field trips, testing, sports participation, and more. These are all practical examples of the foundational rights of parents. Teachers should also notify parents about grades, discipline issues, attendance, and health issues. 

There are many other topics on which I, as a parent, want to be informed in a timely manner, if not immediately. That’s my right as a parent who is responsible for the minor’s well-being.

Let me just say it. I don’t really care about the law that public schools may have to abide by. Not my problem.

And I don’t really want a non-Christian teacher attempting to fill the role of a friend and confidant. That’s not part of their job description and that’s really not what parents are asking for.

This vital communication I want to be aware of includes but is not limited to:

• Evidence of physical harm,
• Bullying or harassment (in-person or online),
• Obvious emotional distress,
• Symptoms of mental health issues,
• Sexual activity,
• Gender-related issues,
• Activity that may be contrary to the family’s moral/religious beliefs, if known.

I must be aware of all of this, regardless of school board policies and state privacy laws.   

Sometimes, people on a team disagree when making decisions. In those cases, teachers and administrators can give their professional perspective, but unless the parents are neglectful or abusive, the buck stops with the parent, in my opinion. 

Depending on the age and circumstance, the child should be included in these discussions, as well—but not always. Again, that will be my choice because most minors cannot make educated decisions on what’s best for them.

In the case of a life-altering decision, usually students are too undeveloped mentally and emotionally to be included in every discussion. Sometimes, parents need to make decisions independent of the child (bringing the student into the conversation at a later point).

When public school personnel keep vital information about the child from the parents, it causes several issues. First, it undermines the ability of the school and parents to work as a team and harms the trust between members. 

Second, the parents can’t make the best decision without all the available information, so this ultimately hurts our students.

Third, keeping parents in the dark establishes a dangerous precedent–communicating that we know better than the parents. 

As Christ-followers, it’s crucial that we surround our children with godly influencers. And its equally important to carefully decide which non-Christian adults we will allow to influence our kids. It does take a village, and parents are at the center of making the village work and choosing who is part of that village. Teachers, we want you to be part of the village. But only if you are helping (not undermining) our authority. Please help our students flourish by ensuring us parents are kept apprised of all vital information.

Co-Author Bio: MB Mooney has taught in private and public schools in the US and an international school in South Korea. He currently works for a coffee company, writes fantasy novels, and lives in the Atlanta, GA area with his wife and three kids.