The Stronghold of Bitterness
This is one in a series of behind-the-scenes blog posts regarding my book, The Single Dad Detour.
At the start of Chapter 3, I mention a friend named “Rick.” A fake name for the book, but a real friend, nonetheless.
Rick and I were buddies from my days living in Polk County, FL. We went to church together and performed together in several drama productions at our church where I served as the Director of Theater Arts.
On page 36, I mention how upset he was that the courts were expecting him to pay way more child support than he did before the divorce. I too, recall feeling victimized when I looked at the standard of living my kids had before the divorce and the much higher standard expected from me after the split. It was ludicrous.
But with Rick, who was now single again, it took him to some low places of depression and bad choices.
In the book, I mention his descent into drinking and dropping out of our community. He lost visitation rights with his daughter, then stopped his child support completely. But here’s the behind-the-scenes part or “the rest of the story” for Rick.
Rick and I slowly lost contact because we didn’t see eye-to-eye about things anymore. Eventually, I heard he started using drugs and had a run-in with local law enforcement.
Then something awful happened. I never found out if the drugs were related to this but one day the news came that Rick had been killed in a car accident.
What a sad end to Rick’s life. His 13-year-old now had no dad and the only legacy he left behind was that of a dead-beat drug addict. I still loved Rick, even after he cut many of us out of his life.
Rick’s life stands as a warning to single dads.
Don’t allow bitterness to have a foothold. Whether it’s toward your ex-spouse, the courts, or even a child who refuses to see you. Take the high road. Cling to Jesus and cast all your burdens upon the Lord.
He cares for you. He is your refuge–your strong tower.
The Single Dad Detour: Directions for Fathering After Divorce released in February 2015 and became a work that is being utilized internationally to help dads all over the world. In 2020 Serious Writer awarded it Book of the Decade.
