Helping Kids Overcome Divorce Grief (Part 3 of 3)
In this final installment on the topic of divorce grief and your kids, let’s look at the third phase, “Acceptance.”
When you begin to see the following issues appearing, you can know your child has embraced the divorce as a reality. They have decided to move forward, anticipating their future.
- Initiating discussions about the loss.
- Getting more involved in activities again.
- Caring about others.
- Less animosity dealing with subjects like visitations, holidays, last-minute schedule changes or dating/re-marriage.
You may make your child less embarrassed or ashamed of having a broken home. They may still be bothered by the divorce but are more accepting that things didn’t turn out like they wanted.
Finding joy and contentment in extra-curricular activities and hobbies will begin to return. Your child will desire healthy relationships and feel accepted rather than feeling like a misfit.
Your child’s pain may be replaced with a sensitivity to other kids who are experiencing a divorce. They might even give you subtle (or not so subtle) clues that they want you to find a woman and re-marry.
There is light at the end of the tunnel for you and your precious kids. This is not to say your kids won’t still fluctuate occasionally. Recovery is a long process for everyone. Blaming themselves for the divorce is a common issue with children of divorce. You will need to discuss it from time to time, just to remind them not to adopt that mindset.
Regardless of the phase your child is currently in (Early Grief, Acute Grief, or Acceptance) recovery will come. With love and patience, you can guide your son or daughter through this season of life with God’s help. He is, after all, in your corner cheering you on.
